Стишки и частушки в переводе на английский (ненормативная лексика)

Здравствуй дедушка мороз, борода из ваты,
Ты подарки нам принёс, пидорас горбатый?
Нет ребята, не принёс, бабок не хватило!
Так зачем ты привалил, снежная хуила?

How are you, grandfather frost, the beard is from wadding?
Have you brought us the presents, you аre humpy faggot?
Nope guys, I haven't brought, running out of money!
What the fuck you've come to here, snowy dickhead dummy?!
_________________________________________________
Из-за леса выезжает конная милиция,
Становитесь девки раком, будет репетиция!

Coming out from the wood the mounted police,
Girls let's get to doggy-style, let's start to rehearse!_________________________________________________
Помидоры помидоры помидоры овощи,
Пизда едет на кобыле, хуй на скорой помощи

Vegetables and tomatoes (say this word three times),
Cunt is riding on the horse, dick's in ambulance
_________________________________________________
По реке плывёт баржа, на барже ебут моржа,
А он машет ластами между педерастами

Barge is floating by the river, walrus's being fucked there
He is waving by its fins among those fucking flibs
_________________________________________________
Мы с милёночком еблись в сорокоградусный мороз,
Жопа инеем покрылась, хуй стоял как дед мороз!

Darling fucked me when it was quite forty degrees of frost,
Rimed cunt and frozen nose, his cock stood like Santa Claus
_________________________________________________
За учёного пойду, за интеллигента,
Oтдаю свою пизду, для эксперимента!

I would marry scientist, wise and clever man,
I don't mind to give my pussy for experiment!
_________________________________________________
Маленький мальчик играл в водолаза,
Смело нырял он на дно унитаза
Добрая тетя нажала педаль,
Мальчик умчался в вонючую даль

One little boy thought he was а diver,
Boldly he dived to the bottom of toilet,
Some pretty woman pressed the pedal,
Let us him wave the stinky good bye!
_________________________________________________
Мимо тёщиного дома я без шуток не хожу,
Tо им хер в забор просуну, то им жопу покажу!

I can't pass without a joke through my wife's mom house,
Once I' show them up my cock, once my naked ass!
_________________________________________________
Я на севере была, золото копала,
Eсли б не моя пизда, с голоду б пропала!

I was working in the north, digging out the gold,
Only thanks to my blessed cunt I didn't starve in cold!
_________________________________________________
Из за леса из за гор показал мужил топор,
Но не просто показал, его к хую привязал!

From beyond the mounts and forest some dude has revealed an axe,
Аxe was tied to his dickhead, that's the point of this text!
_________________________________________________

to be continued...

С неба звездочка упала
Прямо милому в штаны,
Пусть сгорит там, что попало,
Лишь бы не было войны.

Starlet’s fallen from the heavens
Right into my boyfriend's briefs,
I don't mind his roasted penis
If it helps us live in peace.

Этому бы переводчику да привязать бы axe к его dickhead...

Привязывайте! Найти его можно тут http://www.stihi.ru/2013/03/17/9925!

Мною приведенные переводы взяты не из того сайта, это один мой приятель сам перевёл. Ну поприкалывался человек, зачем же ему сразу что-то к чему-то привязывать?

Вот и делись после этого своими шедеврами с человечеством!

Делись, делись! Критики были и у классиков!

"Прекрасное Далёко"

I am hearing voices from the glorious future,
In the silver dew these morning voices sound,
I am hearing voices and alluring road
Whirls my head just like in childhood roundabout.

I pray glorious future, don't be to me so cruel.
Don't be to me so cruel, oh please do not be.
From innocent inception into the glorious future,
Into the glorious future I start my way to thee.

I am hearing voices from the glorious future,
They are calling me to fairy wonderlands,
Hearing voices and they're asking me so strictly –
For tomorrow what's been done by you today?

I pray glorious future, don't be to me so cruel.
Don't be to me so cruel, oh please do not be.
From innocent inception into the glorious future,
Into the glorious future I start my way to thee.

I swear I will become better and kinder,
And will never leave in trouble any friend,
I am hearing voices, rushing to their callings,
By the road on which there's not any trail.

I pray glorious future, don't be to me so cruel.
Don't be to me so cruel, oh please do not be.
From innocent inception into the glorious future,
Into the glorious future I start my way to thee.

"Крылатые Качели"

The beginning of the April
Snow in park begins to thaw,
And the jolly winged swing
Is beginning to get go.

Everything has been forgotten,
Frozen heart inside the chest,
Just the sky, wind and the gladness
Will be waiting us ahead!
Just the sky, wind and the gladness
Will be waiting us ahead!

Rising up above the fir-trees,
Not facing any bar,
The winged swing is flying,
It's flying far and far!
The winged swing is flying,
It's flying far and far!

Childhood won't last forever,
It will be over in the end,
Kids will turn into the grown men,
Each will go on its own way.
But so far we are still children,
We have time for growing yet,
Just the sky, wind and the gladness
Will be waiting us ahead!
Just the sky, wind and the gladness
Will be waiting us ahead!

Whole globe is whirling faster
Just because of that spring mess,
Birds are piping right above us,
And we're singing with the birds.

Everything has been forgotten,
Frozen heart inside the chest,
Just the sky, wind and the gladness
Will be waiting us ahead!
Just the sky, wind and the gladness
Will be waiting us ahead!

Rising up above the fir-trees,
Not facing any bar,
The winged swing is flying,
It's flying far and far!
The winged swing is flying,
It's flying far and far!